Ask any Formula 1 fan what they think of the Monaco Grand Prix and you can be sure their little faces will light up as they gush about the high speed corners, the glamour, the noise... They'll speak with unbridled joy about the excitement this gem of a circuit has given us over the years, claim it as the 'jewel in the crown of motorsport', and that will be the end of that.
In reality, what the Monaco Grand Prix is, I'm afraid, is a two-hour-long parade. It's an annual spectacle held simply to satisfy people's lust for ostentatious boats and hotels, and aimed at the kind of people who are impressed at the prospect of paying £100 for some lunch. The Monaco Grand Prix isn't a sporting event then; it's a ceremony. And to top it all off, it's really, really boring.
Let me explain. Because Monaco is a street circuit, the cars need to drive slower. Because of that, it has the slowest average speed of any race on the F1 calendar, and that, coupled with the long race distance, makes it the longest race of the season (at just under two hours). Of course, that would be fine if we got to see the drivers race, but we don't.
Because the streets are so narrow, and Formula 1 cars are quite wide, it's effectively impossible to overtake someone while you're on circuit. In this year's race, there wasn't a single overtake. Not one. The only way a driver can get past another is when their crew calculate they can make up a second or two by pitting at a slightly different time during the race. Yep, that's why we watch racing. For maths.
In fact, quite literally the only exciting thing to happen in a Monaco Grand Prix in the last few years is when one driver (Daniel Ricciardo) went to pit his car when his crew weren't ready for it and he got a bit cross.
Despite how boring it is, Monaco is also incredibly dangerous, but has the worst excitement-to-danger ratio you could possibly imagine. When someone crashes, it's often boring but life-threatening. This year's highlight was Jenson 'retired-just-in-time' Button gracefully tipping Pascal Wehrlein's car onto its side so his head would be crushed between a barrier and the weight of his car. Thankfully, he was OK. Another four cars had boring crashes too, which meant over one quarter of cars racing didn't even make it to the end.
Generally, we only see a safety car in a Formula 1 race when there has been a serious accident and, for most circuits, this is still fairly rare. However, at Monaco, every single race in the last 12 years (bar one, in 2009) has seen a safety car. When the safety car comes out, the cars go even slower. When it goes back in again, the cars don't have room to weave around the circuit to get heat back into their tyres and they can't restart properly, so that's boring as well.
Formula 1 have to make special allowances to keep the Monaco Grand Prix alive too. The Drag Reduction System (DRS), a system to provoke overtaking, and the one thing added to keep the sport interesting recently has been removed here because it can't work.
"But doesn't it look pretty" is just about the only argument for keeping the Monaco Grand Prix. It's probably no surprise then that Fernando Alonso, probably the best driver in the world, blew off the Monaco Grand Prix this year to race in the Indianapolis 500 instead. When cars driving around in a circle for two hours is more exciting than a Formula 1 race, you know you have problems.
For these reasons, I will be boycotting the race from now on.
Monaco has had it's day. Let's move on.
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| Photo credit: https://pixabay.com/en/monte-carlo-cityscape-harbor-ships-908566/ |
In reality, what the Monaco Grand Prix is, I'm afraid, is a two-hour-long parade. It's an annual spectacle held simply to satisfy people's lust for ostentatious boats and hotels, and aimed at the kind of people who are impressed at the prospect of paying £100 for some lunch. The Monaco Grand Prix isn't a sporting event then; it's a ceremony. And to top it all off, it's really, really boring.
Let me explain. Because Monaco is a street circuit, the cars need to drive slower. Because of that, it has the slowest average speed of any race on the F1 calendar, and that, coupled with the long race distance, makes it the longest race of the season (at just under two hours). Of course, that would be fine if we got to see the drivers race, but we don't.
Because the streets are so narrow, and Formula 1 cars are quite wide, it's effectively impossible to overtake someone while you're on circuit. In this year's race, there wasn't a single overtake. Not one. The only way a driver can get past another is when their crew calculate they can make up a second or two by pitting at a slightly different time during the race. Yep, that's why we watch racing. For maths.
In fact, quite literally the only exciting thing to happen in a Monaco Grand Prix in the last few years is when one driver (Daniel Ricciardo) went to pit his car when his crew weren't ready for it and he got a bit cross.
Despite how boring it is, Monaco is also incredibly dangerous, but has the worst excitement-to-danger ratio you could possibly imagine. When someone crashes, it's often boring but life-threatening. This year's highlight was Jenson 'retired-just-in-time' Button gracefully tipping Pascal Wehrlein's car onto its side so his head would be crushed between a barrier and the weight of his car. Thankfully, he was OK. Another four cars had boring crashes too, which meant over one quarter of cars racing didn't even make it to the end.
Generally, we only see a safety car in a Formula 1 race when there has been a serious accident and, for most circuits, this is still fairly rare. However, at Monaco, every single race in the last 12 years (bar one, in 2009) has seen a safety car. When the safety car comes out, the cars go even slower. When it goes back in again, the cars don't have room to weave around the circuit to get heat back into their tyres and they can't restart properly, so that's boring as well.
Formula 1 have to make special allowances to keep the Monaco Grand Prix alive too. The Drag Reduction System (DRS), a system to provoke overtaking, and the one thing added to keep the sport interesting recently has been removed here because it can't work.
"But doesn't it look pretty" is just about the only argument for keeping the Monaco Grand Prix. It's probably no surprise then that Fernando Alonso, probably the best driver in the world, blew off the Monaco Grand Prix this year to race in the Indianapolis 500 instead. When cars driving around in a circle for two hours is more exciting than a Formula 1 race, you know you have problems.
For these reasons, I will be boycotting the race from now on.
Monaco has had it's day. Let's move on.
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