If you're middle class and running out of ways to elevate yourself above other people, there's a handy new gadget you can get hold of to make yourself feel a bit special and show everyone how important and affluent you are: a Ring doorbell.
The concept of a Ring doorbell is very simple. You install a video camera on your door so anyone visiting or passing by your house is filmed, and footage of them is immediately sent to and stored by Amazon. All of that footage is then available for you to browse through, should you have nothing better to do, and share with anybody else who might get a kick out of it, or anyone Amazon feels like they should.
If you're wondering what the point of all this is, you're absolutely right to, because there isn't one. A video doorbell is really just an invention that exists because technology does. However, in their charming adverts, Ring run through a whole range of exciting situations where your video doorbell will change your life forever.
One example is when someone comes to visit your house and you're not there; you can now tell them you're not there by broadcasting a message to them explaining that you're not there, just so there's no doubt about whether you're there. Of course, it's conceivable that person could have deduced you're not there when you didn't answer the door, but now you can tell them. Because technology.
Similarly, if you're not at home for a delivery, you can tell the delivery person you're not in when they ring your doorbell. Of course, there's still nothing useful you can do, but you can engage in a lovely bit of banter with them about it. And if there's one thing we know about Amazon delivery drivers, it's that they love to hang around for a long chat.
Actually, that's true of everybody. Irrespective of how pointless a video doorbell is, by owing one, you're assuming it's OK to film people outside their awareness and without their consent, and that they're more than happy to stand outside your house like an outcast having an awkward discussion with a doorframe. Clearly, some people aren't going to buy that concept, so Ring need a new angle.
Fear.
Yep, Ring aren't above scaremongering people into getting a Ring doorbell under the premise that your house will almost certainly be burgled and you need a video doorbell to make it more secure. So, just in case a burglar is stupid enough to break into your house from a public road in broad daylight while not covering their face, and is polite enough to ring your doorbell before they do, you've caught them in the act. Of course, they've still broken into your house and stolen everything, but that doesn't matter, because you've got some footage you can post on Facebook.
Despite the lack of evidence that video doorbells even make a difference to crime rates, Ring is still banging their security drum pretty hard. Actually, they have to, because if they're honest about what a Ring doorbell actually is - that it's a fun little device to let you spy on people around your house - they'll start to have a few problems.
In fact, they already have. People have recently pointed out that a video doorbell mounted on the front of your house is a bit of a privacy concern. Chances are that fisheye lens isn't just going to film the front of your house, it's going to capture everything around it; your neighbours' garden, public spaces, children walking down the street, maybe even through the window of a house across the street. It's all a little bit creepy.
If you look at Ring's own guidelines, you'll realise they recommend you avoid installing it if it faces a public road - which is a bit of a problem if, say, you live on a road. Ring is a US-based company too, and the 'land of the free' doesn't have the same General Data Protection Regulations we do here in Europe. The UK government guidelines are quick to point this out by stating that "If your [doorbell] captures images of people outside the boundary of your private domestic property – for example, from neighbours’ homes or gardens, shared spaces, or from public areas – then the GDPR [General Data Protection Regulations] and the DPA [Data Protection Act] will apply to you."
Oops. That's clearly going to be a problem for a lot of people, particularly if you run a business from home and footage of your clients (i.e personal data) are uploaded to Amazon's non-GDPR-compliant server. However, that's OK, because if you're affluent enough to have a Ring doorbell, you could probably afford a fine from the Information Commissioner's Office too.
Despite the casual abuse of privacy, my biggest issue with video doorbells, oddly enough, is the false sense of privilege and entitlement they grant people. A video doorbell is the very essence of snobbery and self-indulgence; a device that compromises the integrity, patience and privacy of everyone around you just so you can make your life half a percent better.
That's what I can't stand about them. I hate the thought of a visitor ringing a doorbell and having to wait around for the owner sitting on their throne with their iPhone appraising them to see if they're worthy of their time. I hate that deliberately ostentatious notification that goes off in public and the smug look of satisfaction from owners when it gives them the opportunity to show off how affluent they are. I hate the thought of owners harbouring footage of people as a subject of ridicule and sniggering with their friends over some footage of a conversation they had with a funny-looking window cleaner.
So, unless you get a kick out of that, you don't need a video doorbell.
If it's security you're after, look into getting an IP camera. These are cameras that connect to your wifi and save footage to a personal server you have running in your home. This way, you're in control of your footage, so it's GDPR-compliant, and you don't need to pay Amazon a monthly charge to access it. If someone doesn't fancy having images of them stored, you can delete their footage easily, or just set up the camera to wipe the footage automatically every day.
You can also set up these cameras in a place they'll actually make a difference (e.g the rear of your property). If you wanted to, you could install one inside your home too - though, of course, you would only have them on when you're away at work or on holiday - don't film people inside your house. That's just as weird.
If you're itching to capture everything that happens outside your house though, and the thought of missing out on someone delivering a leaflet keeps you up at night, perhaps you could sit in the bushes with a camera facing the road and everyone on it. Filming your neighbour coming home from work each day might seem a bit stalker-ish, but Amazon says it's ok, so perhaps you should.
Otherwise, you could get a regular doorbell. That way, when the doorbell rings, you can actually open the door and exercise some conversation skills with a person who's made the effort to visit you. As an added bonus, they won't feel awkward, you wouldn't have violated any privacy laws, and you won't look like a pretentious twat.
The concept of a Ring doorbell is very simple. You install a video camera on your door so anyone visiting or passing by your house is filmed, and footage of them is immediately sent to and stored by Amazon. All of that footage is then available for you to browse through, should you have nothing better to do, and share with anybody else who might get a kick out of it, or anyone Amazon feels like they should.
If you're wondering what the point of all this is, you're absolutely right to, because there isn't one. A video doorbell is really just an invention that exists because technology does. However, in their charming adverts, Ring run through a whole range of exciting situations where your video doorbell will change your life forever.
One example is when someone comes to visit your house and you're not there; you can now tell them you're not there by broadcasting a message to them explaining that you're not there, just so there's no doubt about whether you're there. Of course, it's conceivable that person could have deduced you're not there when you didn't answer the door, but now you can tell them. Because technology.
Similarly, if you're not at home for a delivery, you can tell the delivery person you're not in when they ring your doorbell. Of course, there's still nothing useful you can do, but you can engage in a lovely bit of banter with them about it. And if there's one thing we know about Amazon delivery drivers, it's that they love to hang around for a long chat.
Actually, that's true of everybody. Irrespective of how pointless a video doorbell is, by owing one, you're assuming it's OK to film people outside their awareness and without their consent, and that they're more than happy to stand outside your house like an outcast having an awkward discussion with a doorframe. Clearly, some people aren't going to buy that concept, so Ring need a new angle.
Fear.
Yep, Ring aren't above scaremongering people into getting a Ring doorbell under the premise that your house will almost certainly be burgled and you need a video doorbell to make it more secure. So, just in case a burglar is stupid enough to break into your house from a public road in broad daylight while not covering their face, and is polite enough to ring your doorbell before they do, you've caught them in the act. Of course, they've still broken into your house and stolen everything, but that doesn't matter, because you've got some footage you can post on Facebook.
Despite the lack of evidence that video doorbells even make a difference to crime rates, Ring is still banging their security drum pretty hard. Actually, they have to, because if they're honest about what a Ring doorbell actually is - that it's a fun little device to let you spy on people around your house - they'll start to have a few problems.
In fact, they already have. People have recently pointed out that a video doorbell mounted on the front of your house is a bit of a privacy concern. Chances are that fisheye lens isn't just going to film the front of your house, it's going to capture everything around it; your neighbours' garden, public spaces, children walking down the street, maybe even through the window of a house across the street. It's all a little bit creepy.
If you look at Ring's own guidelines, you'll realise they recommend you avoid installing it if it faces a public road - which is a bit of a problem if, say, you live on a road. Ring is a US-based company too, and the 'land of the free' doesn't have the same General Data Protection Regulations we do here in Europe. The UK government guidelines are quick to point this out by stating that "If your [doorbell] captures images of people outside the boundary of your private domestic property – for example, from neighbours’ homes or gardens, shared spaces, or from public areas – then the GDPR [General Data Protection Regulations] and the DPA [Data Protection Act] will apply to you."
Oops. That's clearly going to be a problem for a lot of people, particularly if you run a business from home and footage of your clients (i.e personal data) are uploaded to Amazon's non-GDPR-compliant server. However, that's OK, because if you're affluent enough to have a Ring doorbell, you could probably afford a fine from the Information Commissioner's Office too.
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| Ring helpfully lay out their GDPR policy for customers |
Despite the casual abuse of privacy, my biggest issue with video doorbells, oddly enough, is the false sense of privilege and entitlement they grant people. A video doorbell is the very essence of snobbery and self-indulgence; a device that compromises the integrity, patience and privacy of everyone around you just so you can make your life half a percent better.
That's what I can't stand about them. I hate the thought of a visitor ringing a doorbell and having to wait around for the owner sitting on their throne with their iPhone appraising them to see if they're worthy of their time. I hate that deliberately ostentatious notification that goes off in public and the smug look of satisfaction from owners when it gives them the opportunity to show off how affluent they are. I hate the thought of owners harbouring footage of people as a subject of ridicule and sniggering with their friends over some footage of a conversation they had with a funny-looking window cleaner.
So, unless you get a kick out of that, you don't need a video doorbell.
If it's security you're after, look into getting an IP camera. These are cameras that connect to your wifi and save footage to a personal server you have running in your home. This way, you're in control of your footage, so it's GDPR-compliant, and you don't need to pay Amazon a monthly charge to access it. If someone doesn't fancy having images of them stored, you can delete their footage easily, or just set up the camera to wipe the footage automatically every day.
You can also set up these cameras in a place they'll actually make a difference (e.g the rear of your property). If you wanted to, you could install one inside your home too - though, of course, you would only have them on when you're away at work or on holiday - don't film people inside your house. That's just as weird.
If you're itching to capture everything that happens outside your house though, and the thought of missing out on someone delivering a leaflet keeps you up at night, perhaps you could sit in the bushes with a camera facing the road and everyone on it. Filming your neighbour coming home from work each day might seem a bit stalker-ish, but Amazon says it's ok, so perhaps you should.
Otherwise, you could get a regular doorbell. That way, when the doorbell rings, you can actually open the door and exercise some conversation skills with a person who's made the effort to visit you. As an added bonus, they won't feel awkward, you wouldn't have violated any privacy laws, and you won't look like a pretentious twat.
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