If you're sitting on the fence about whether to go to New York, let me help you down from there. New York City is an incredible city, and definitely somewhere you should visit if you're even contemplating it. You might be a bit overwhelmed by the amount of knowledge you need to plan a trip to New York, but - don't despair - I've prepared this handy "cut out n' keep guide" to help you do just that.
Let's get into it:
When should I go?
You should go in January. It's cheaper, quieter, and full of goodies in the winter (like ice rinks, sales in the flagship high street stores, and the highest possibility of snow). You're not there to sunbathe or look at flowers so it doesn't need to be hot, and you won't want to walk around a concrete jungle when it is.
Aim for the 2nd week in January. By then, all the tourists who only go for New Year's would have gone back home, but the Christmas decorations (e.g. the tree at the Rockefeller centre and the New Year ball in Times Square) will still be there for you. Go in January.
Where would I stay?
Times Square. Or as close as possible. Times Square has an amazing atmosphere, and it's about a 15-20 min walk from all the good stuff (Central Park, Empire State, the Public Library, the Rockefeller centre, Bryant Park). You can also arrive there in style from Grand Central station. More on that later.
How will I pay for things?
With a Revolut card, or any bank card that waives non-sterling transaction fees. Don't bother taking cash: New York City is a modern city so you won't need it. The subway, taxis, and shops all accept contactless payments. Cash is faff too, and Americans even have notes for $1 so you'll find yourself carrying around a ton of "green", which is annoying, unless you want to feel a mafia boss.
When you pay for things, just remember that Americans want you to tip for everything, so you'll have to get used to that. Don't be too stingy; a 15% tip is considered low but is generous enough for a tourist. You don't need to tip for everything though. A Starbucks employee will have the audacity to ask for a 20% tip just for taking your order but, unless they're giving you a massage when they do, you don't have to.
If you're given any kind of service though (e.g., you've been waited on), avoid giving 'no tip'. To an American, not giving a tip for service is like punching their grandmother in the face. Apparently, this is because employers in one of the richest nations on earth can't afford to pay their employees a decent wage, so it's up to us to do it for them - but that's OK.
Another question you may have is "how on earth will I pay for things?" New York City is expensive. And I mean really expensive - like London on steroids. Just to keep yourself entertained and nourished will cost you upwards of $100 a day, so you may want to bear that mind when you're budgeting for your trip and deciding how long to stay there.
How do I get around?
Compared to cities like London and Paris, Manhattan isn't actually that big and you'll be surprised how much you can get around just by walking. For everything else, use the subway. Once you've obtained your PhD in how to use it, you should get used to it quite quickly, but download a map before you go so you can quickly find out what station you wanted to go to instead of the one the driver fancied going to.
Like the London Underground, you only need a contactless card to use it. However, unlike London, it will charge you for every individual journey (rather than calculating which zones you were in), so try to avoiding making a lot of short journeys. If you follow my suggested Day Plans later on, you can keep these trips to a minimum.
What should I see?
Firstly, get the CityPass app. This is by far the best value way of seeing everything you want to. You can choose how many attractions you'd like to see, book them on the app, and have all the tickets loaded up and ready to use on your phone.
The Statue of Liberty
The island is pretty good, but not necessary. You can get close to the statue, or go inside if you have a spare few hundred dollars lying around. You can't look up the dress (I checked) and all the information on the signs around it is already on Wikipedia (it was a gift from the French and weighs quite a lot. There, you're up to speed.)
The ferry also takes you to Ellis island which houses a museum telling you how people first arrived in the country, and is exactly as boring as it sounds, so make sure you don't get on the ferry that takes you there; just go back to the mainland.
If you just want to get close to the statue, consider taking the Staten Island ferry. It's free and goes right past it. If you do, bear in mind that some charlatans will be waiting for you right outside the ferry terminal and will try telling you that you need to buy their tickets to get on the ferry. You don't. They don't work for the ferry company, they work for a dodgy tour guide company. Tell them that you know what you're doing and that they're scammers, or just ignore them - that's probably easier.
Empire State Building
As weird as it sounds, avoid going on a sunny day; the best view faces south, right into the sun, so all your photos will look rubbish and will blind you as you take them. Go when it's a bit overcast, or maybe even at night.
When you reach the first stop, you'll be able to see everything out of the windows. However, don't take pictures then - you'll only end up deleting them - carry on up to the next floor and you'll soon be outside so you can take all your pictures then. You can't take a tripod up there (sorry photography enthusiasts), and the view is covered by fencing, but you should still get some amazing views.
Rockefeller Centre
It's a good idea to see one of these views during daytime and one when it's dark. If you do, I'd recommend doing Empire State during the day and this at night. The rates for going to the Rockefeller Centre are the same throughout the day, but you'll need special tickets to go to the Empire State at sunset and beyond, so this wins again.
The Rockefeller centre is an amazing building too. Before you disappear, do make sure to check out the surrounding plaza and the shopping centre in the basement below. There are plenty of cafes, restaurants, and gift shops around and - most importantly - the flagship Lego store. You obviously cannot leave before going there.
Bryant Park
Times Square
Broadway
Grand Central Station
Bonus tip: if you're staying anywhere close to Grand Central station (e.g. Times Square), make sure you catch a train from the airport to here so you can arrive in style. From JFK airport, you can take the Long Island Rail Road that will take you Grand Central. When you arrive, follow the signs to the Main Concourse (it's a bit of a walk, but worth it) and take the escalator up to marbled paradise. There simply is no better way to arrive in the city.
Central Park
You can skip the zoo. It's tiny, and depressing. None of the animals there are happy, and going there will make you as grumpy and sad as all the poor creatures stuck there. The only animals worth seeing are the sealions and you can see them from outside without going in, so just get a zoom lens and you're laughing.
Macys
Macys is the answer to a question no-one asked. The question being: What would happen if there was a department store that had nine inaccessibly big floors with absolutely no organisation? If you fancy shopping for some shoes then decide you'd like a bag to go with them, just hop on five escalators and take a trek across literally an entire city block. You'll need a backpack though, and I think you'll find these on floor 9.
9/11 Memorial pools
What do I need before going?
A Visa. The Visa you want is called an ESTA. Be aware of sites selling fake ESTAs or sites offering to do this for you. You don't need them. The official website is: https://esta.cbp.dhs.gov
From the second you arrive in the United States, you'll be treated like a criminal. It isn't enough to have completed your Visa (ESTA) to enter the country, you'll have to be interrogated by a US customs officer when you arrive who will want to know exactly where you're staying, what you'll be up to when you're there, how long it'll be before you go back home, and roughly what you had for breakfast that morning. You'll also have to have a mugshot taken and a scan of your fingerprints, you scumbag.
Day plans:
Staying a week in New York City is plenty of time. If your budget can't stretch to that, you should be able to do everything you want in a few days. Here are four day plans that'll help you squeeze in as much as you can:
South Manhattan
Get the subway down to the bottom of the island (South Ferry). Stroll around Battery Park and then take the ferry to / past the Statue of Liberty. When you're back on the island, walk up to the Charging Bull, then head over to the 9/11 memorial pools. Cross the road to Brookfield Place, do some shopping and grab some food, then take the escalators underground to the Westfield shopping centre under the World Trade Centre site. Head towards City Hall park where Brooklyn bridge is and walk on over. Spend the rest of your day in Brooklyn (being sure to check out the DUMBO area), then hop onto the subway afterwards.
Mid Manhattan 1
Start your day at the High Line. Take a walk around the city and then head towards Macy's, passing Madison Square Garden on the way. When you've had a good look around Macy's and maybe got something to eat, head to the Empire State Building and admire the view. Continue down fifth avenue to the Flatiron building. Just before you get there, go through Madison Square Park. Did I mention that there's a big Harry Potter store and a Lego store right next to it? Good.
Mid Manhattan 2
Head to Bryant Park and maybe get involved in some ice-skating (after prebooking of course). When you want to relax for a bit, take a quick tour of the New York Public Library and be sure to check out the Reading room (though visit the website before to check when it's open to the public). When you're done, head over to the Grand Central Station for a drink or a snack. Walk up Fifth Avenue until you get to the Rockefeller Centre and spend the rest of your day here. There's loads to do here, and you can even visit St Patrick's Cathedral across the street from here too. Bonus tip: you can go into every building today for free.
Upper-mid Manhattan
Stroll up Fifth Avenue and pop into some of the iconic stores on the way. Enter Central Park from the south east. From here, you can walk past the zoo, and bear to the left to find Woolman Rink and the famous Mall leading to the Bethesda fountain. Don't plan anything else for the day; just enjoy walking around Central Park. There are some vendors around for food or drinks, or you can just leave the park temporarily to see what's around. If you'd like to, you can end by visiting the American Museum of Natural History. It's massive though, so don't expect to see everything there.
Where to Eat:
Hard Rock Cafe: A classic, with a broad and reasonably priced menu. Be sure to use the "restroom" and check out the memorabilia in the lobby on the way.
Andrew's NYC Diner: A classic US diner. Big portions, US sports, and all the weak coffee you can drink. Everything you need to feel like a true US citizen.
Juniors: Another classic diner, with big portions and big personalities. Make sure you visit the annex and pick up a slice of cheesecake for the road.
Olive Garden: Great if you like Italian food buried under copious amounts of salt.
Zucker's Bagels: Great for a quick bite, especially at breakfast time.
Chil-Fil-A: Like McDonalds, but better
Raising Cane's: Like McDonalds, but better
McDonalds: McDonalds
Carts: New York City is full of carts on street corners that sell decent food on to the go. Tuck in like a true New Yorker.
Where to say:
As we've established, you should stay near Times Square, so here are two excellent hotels that are literally a one-minute walk away:
A few other things:
- The whole of New York City stinks of weed, but by the end of your trip you'll be too high to care.
- New York City is full of Brits, so don't expect anyone to gush over your lilting English accent, Love Actually style. They're over it.
- Americans don't know how to make an English tea, so order this as your peril. If they walk towards a microwave, leave the premises immediately.
- Try to say "Hey, I'm waulking hyere!" to at least one person on the street, but don't blame me if you get punched.
- If you want to sit down for a coffee, avoid Starbucks. Almost every Starbucks has no or limited seating. There are lots of independent cafes around, so give them your support instead.
- If you fancy a free coffee, go into Tiffany's and pretend you're interested in their ridiculous jewellery. If they think you're part of their unbearable clientele, they'll rush to offer you a drink.
- Get an overnight flight back home. The flight is about 7hrs and, if you manage to sleep through that, you've got a free night's accommodation. Nice one.
Conclusion
So there we are. Your trip to New York is sorted, and I didn't even ask for a 20% tip.
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