I got married last year and, just before I did, I read a few blogs telling me what I should know about my big day and how best to prepare for it. I ignored every one of them and I'm so glad I did. We ended up having the perfect wedding by following our own simple rules that no-one else will tell you about, and now you can too.
Let's get stuck in:
1. Be humble
This is the most important day of your life, but it's probably not the most important day of anyone else's life. (Yikes.) If you haven't just rage-quit this blog, that's excellent news; it means that you probably have some humility, and that's the most important thing you need to have a good wedding.
You deserve a wedding, of course, but things may well go wrong on the day, and that's fine. If you're the type of person who will completely fall apart if your cake does the same, you probably shouldn't have a big wedding. (Yikes again.) There's a point to this: No-one can relax at a wedding if there's an intense atmosphere. Weddings are a celebration of love, acceptance, and humility. You get far more out of them if you adopt that philosophy and your guests know you do.
So, go into your wedding with the attitude that, if something goes wrong, it doesn't matter and it won't ruin your day. Above all else, a relaxing atmosphere is exactly what you want to create. If you're uptight, entitled, and hostile about having the perfect day, you won't have one, and neither will your guests.
2. Look after your suppliers
If you have a florist, a photographer, or a DJ, offer them a meal during the wedding meal with you. What's that? The people you're paying a fortune to have there? No, they're only there to do their job and they can damn well feed themselves.
[Incorrect answer buzzer]
Simple gestures like offering your photographer a drink during their down time will go a long way to make them feel at ease. That's exactly what you should be aiming to do; making sure your suppliers are as comfortable as possible. When your suppliers are comfortable, you absolutely get the best out of them.
If your photographer is sitting on the fence about asking whether you'd like to try a risky photograph with a potentially huge payoff, they're more likely to ask you if they know you'll respond well. If they're worried you'll bark at them for interrupting your day, they'll stay clear and just do what they're required to do, and nothing else. Congratulations; you'll have the same boring photos as everyone else.
In short, if you go the extra mile for your suppliers, they'll go the extra mile for you. So, when you're meeting with your suppliers before the wedding, the single best question you can ask them is: "Is there anything we can do to make things easier for you?"
3. Consider having a celebrant
There's a lot going on during your wedding day and, as if things weren't intense enough, having to file some legal paperwork as part of it is an unnecessary dollop of stress.
We're used to couples signing a registry at weddings, of course, but it's still really weird. Taking care of some legal paperwork in front of your friends and family is like inviting them over for a coffee while you go off and do your tax return.
A jobsworth registrar can completely ruin the atmosphere of a wedding too. If any of your guests dare to take a photo of the couple while they're signing a piece of paper, they won't think twice about shouting at them and explaining how important the piece of paper is.
Waiting for the couple to sign the thing is boring as well. It forces the guests to sit around awkwardly having conversations about where the flowers came from, where they think they've heard this song before, and how long they think your marriage will last.
With a celebrant, you have so much more control over everything. You can get all of the legal paperwork out of the way before and just focus on the celebration for the actual day. You then don't have to have the same morbid vows that outline what happens when one of you dies, and you don't have to worry about an uptight registrar frogmarching your guests out the room.
As well as giving your own vows, you can be creative about what you can do in the ceremony too. For instance, at our wedding, we potted a plant together as a way of symbolising our eternal bond.
It's dead now.
4. Consider booking a minibus
If your guests want to get the most of your day, booking some accommodation nearby allows them to drink and stay a bit longer. However, some may be put off the cost of a taxi on top of accommodation for the night and decide to just not drink and leave early to allow plenty of time to get home and hop into bed. That's no fun.
If you tell your guests that you'll be offering a minibus service back to a local hotel (or hotels), the option to drink and stay at a hotel instead of going home suddenly becomes much more attractive.
The cost of ten individual taxis will be eye watering, but a minibus that picks up your guests from their hotels and takes them back will be quite affordable. It's worth budgeting for this, and it's also a great gesture that shows your guests that you're looking after them.
5. Get a website
It's lovely when you get a wedding invitation in the post, but you know what's even better? Not getting one. We're living in a modern world where everything has a website, and that should include your wedding.
A wedding website is a brilliant way of sending your guests a "save the date" (which can exist as a button they click / tap on to add to their calendar), respond to your invitation, and enter their meal choices for the day. You never need to worry about invitations getting lost in the post, misplaced, or forgotten about. Just send your guest a link to your website and everything's there for them.
During the wedding, you can have a QR code guests can scan to view and add to a public gallery that everyone has access to. Afterwards, you can post links to official photos and videos from the day.
Frankly, you can't afford not to have a wedding website.
Bonus
Here are a few translations that will help you get through your wedding planning:
* FOB = Father Of the Bride
* PLI = Public Liability Insurance
* PAT = Portable Appliance Testing, or "an excuse to charge you for something an insurance company would protect against anyway"
* Wedding "band" = wedding ring
* Wedding "breakfast" = wedding meal
* "£1 000" = £10 000
Conclusion
So, if you're getting married, feel free to bookmark this blog. If know someone who's planning a wedding, send them this blog and you'll probably have a better time at it.
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